This is an answer given to a young man who asked about becoming romantically involved with an unsaved girl. The young man knew about the problem of the unequal yoke but asked for clarification.

 

You are right about the yoke. Jesus personally spoke to you and told you to take His yoke upon you for it's easy and His burden is light. That's why you are feeling checked in your innermost mind right now about this whole thing. Jesus wasn't lying either. His yoke constrains you, which is why you wrote and asked this question. While this "yoke" is a metaphor, it is quite accurate. If you yoke two mismatched animals together and try to pull a wagon, you have a mess. Even friends can bring you down. Girl friends are more dangerous. :)

 

There is a man who comes to mind. When this man was younger, he met a girl. This girl was not born again. The young man had a call over his life, but dated the girl anyway. There is something not right about getting involved romantically before he was ready to marry a girl and support her, but he didn't let that stop him. The girl never gave an inch. She had him make every concession but was not interested in him being her spiritual head and leading her into a deep relationship with Christ. Once he started dating the girl, his own body took over in the natural way. What he forgot was that he had been called to a supernatural life, not a natural life. What was actually happening was an electro-chemical reaction in his body. Not very romantic when you realize what happens, but there has been some scientific research on this, and that's what happens. It's always relatively short-lived, generally lasting less than two years--longer if they are sneaking. They were sneaking. During this time, the young man became very serious about the girl because he thought that this was love. A wise man of God told the young man not to just take the girl but to let God give her to him. The young man didn't listen, though.

Had he held back his emotions and stood his ground, the girl would likely have turned to Christ in truth and the young man would have had a very different life.

They got married, and then they fell out of this artificial love and found out that they really had nothing in common. While the chemicals were acting like drugs in his system, his senses were dulled to any problems. Once the chemicals wore off, the problems became very obvious and it became unpleasant.

The young man went to his parents and said they were going to divorce. The parents counseled him to stay with her, that he had made a commitment. This happened twice, but the girl finally became a born again Christian thankfully. This seldom happens. The marriage was saved--this seldom happens.

However, the girl still has no desire to walk with Jesus in a serious way. She is lukewarm and he is forced into a lukewarm lifestyle. The man has laid down his calling for this girl. This is the right thing to do now, but there was a mistake made at a young age that cannot really be fixed. I have seen this happen in various ways to other people as well. Talk about an unfulfilled waste of a life.

 

As a young man, the corrupt culture tries to force you into its mold. It attempts to shape you through peer pressure. However, you hear the Voice of God leading you in quite a different direction. As you stop leaning on your own understanding and acknowledge the leading of God's Spirit, your spiritual senses become more keen. That's why you wanted to keep the relationship as a friendship. And that is right. However, being close to a girl, taking her out, having an exclusive relationship: all these things lead to a pairing off that is much more appropriate with someone you are ready to marry. Yet, how would you support a wife if you were to marry? See how they squeeze you into their mold?

From what you wrote, it is obvious that this girl is not giving an inch. You should come her way, but she won't so much as go to church with you. There is a difference between being friendly toward someone and being a friend. When you get close to someone, they influence you. If they are not godly, they influence you away from God. And you have already taken the first step by allowing them to be the influence in your life when God asked you to be the influence in their life. He has asked you to be the head and not the tail, but you have already disobeyed, so it's easy to take the next little step, and the next little step, and the one after that. It happens so slowly you don't even notice it, but the bottom line is, are you listening to the Holy Spirit or some other voice.